Compassionate Parent Therapy or Compassion-Focused Parent Therapy (CFPT) combines the most evidence-based positive parenting strategies for child anxiety and behavioral issues with compassionate, parent-centered therapy drawing from CFT, CBT, DBT, ACT, Schema Therapy, Shame Resilience and Attachment-Based Work.
Most parenting programs offer a series of didactic skills that focus exclusively on the child as the “identified patient”, and the parent as the expected agent of change, without intention or regard for the therapeutic relationship between parent and therapist. For many parents, this approach may feel blaming and judgmental, triggering our own often deep-seated shame, trauma, anxiety, resistance, and perfectionism.
CFPT understands that each parent brings their own psychological and cultural histories, including intergenerational trauma, into the therapy room which is deeply connected to their personal views on parenting, their strengths and limitations as a parent, and their desire, readiness, and ability to implement evidence-based parenting techniques to enact lasting change in the parent-child dyad. CFPT focuses on deepening connection, insight, and trust between the parent/s and therapist, actively breaking down both emotional and pragmatic roadblocks to skills implementation, while re-shaping and strengthening the parent/s’ own attachment style and identity as a parent. In this way, the parent-therapist relationship, and processes including empathy, trust, compassion, cultural humility, structure and consistency, non-judgmental validation, normalization/destigmatization, and therapist modeling of imperfection and humility, become foundational to engendering parent safety and empowerment which enables parents to empower their children via these same processes, building confidence, safety, and self-esteem leading to lasting change within the interconnected parent/s, child, and family system. In a sense, the therapist-parent relationship serves as a microcosm for rebuilding the parent-child relationship, providing structure, safety, perceived control, skills to manage difficult or unwanted emotions, and clear paths toward (imperfect) progress for both parent/s and child alike.
Section 1: Understanding CFPT
1.1 The Foundations of CFPT:
– Overview of CFPT’s combination of evidence-based parenting strategies and compassionate, attachment-based therapy.
– Recognizing the impact of the caregiver-therapist relationship on treatment success.
– Understanding parent psychological and cultural histories in shaping parenting views and behaviors.
1.2 The Therapist’s Role:
– Cultivating empathy, compassion, and non-judgmental validation toward the caregiver.
– Emphasizing therapist modeling of imperfection and humility to create a safe environment for the caregiver.
– Incorporating shame resilience and attachment-based techniques to build parent-therapist trust, safety, connection, and “re-parenting”, as needed.
Section 2: Compassion-Focused Parenting Practices
2.1 Core Components:
– Teaching evidence-based parenting strategies with compassion to address anxiety and behavioral challenges in children.
– Building consistency, structure, and positive reinforcement to promote a sense of safety, self-esteem, and overall wellbeing in the child.
2.2 Positive Parenting Skills:
– Psychoeducation about Child Behavior/Development
– 1-on-1 Time
– Praise
– Active Ignoring
– Effective Instructions
– Rewards
– House Rules
Section 3: Deepening the Parent-Therapist Relationship via Caregiver Safety and Empowerment
3.1 Therapist as a Microcosm:
– Exploring the parallels between the therapist-parent relationship and the parent-child relationship.
– Utilizing the parent-therapist relationship to provide structure, safety, skills-building, empowerment, unconditional and unwavering support, and perceived control.
3.2 Addressing Caregiver Shame, Trauma, Anxiety, and/or Insecure Attachment:
– Recognizing and addressing the impact of shame, trauma, and anxiety in parenting experiences.
– Understanding the caregiver’s attachment style and its impact on the parent-child relationship.
– Implementing techniques to manage these emotional roadblocks effectively.
3.3 Building Trust, Empathy, and Compassion:
– Strengthening parent-therapist trust through compassion-focused therapeutic interventions, including techniques to re-parent, reshape and strengthen the caregiver’s identity as a compassionate, competent, and empowered parent.
– Therapist modeling of vulnerability, imperfection, and managing difficult emotions with the caregiver.
3.4 Building Confidence and Self-Esteem:
– Nurturing the parent-therapist bond to reduce shame and stigma and build parent confidence, mastery, and self-esteem in their parenting journey.
– Empowering parents to empower their children through empathy, consistency, consequences, and unconditional compassion and love.
3.5 Empowering Parents toward Effective Skills Implementation Skills:
– Supporting parents in overcoming resistance and perfectionism in skills implementation–of both the parent and child.
– Providing clear paths for imperfect progress and celebrating small successes, of both the parent and the child.
Conclusion
CFPT offers a compassionate and empowering approach to support parents in fostering lasting change in their children’s anxiety and behavioral challenges. By deepening the parent-therapist relationship and incorporating evidence-based parenting strategies, therapists can create a supportive and transformative therapeutic experience for parents, leading to positive changes within the interconnected parent, child, and family system.
