Anxiety Around The Holidays

The holidays can be an exciting time to gather with friends and family, eat great food, and be grateful for the things we have, especially in the month of November. With that being said, the holidays can also be one of the most challenging times for a person’s mental health, most notably for those who have an anxiety or mood disorder. There is often stress associated with family gatherings, whether it be excitement, some worry/angst, or even dread. Oftentimes, people fall into unhealthy patterns around their families.

As a licensed professional counselor (LPC) and postdoctoral clinician, I help support my clients during this time by helping them explore and process their feelings about the holidays and cope with any challenges that impose on their emotional well being. I encourage my clients to practice grounding techniques and come up with a cope-ahead plan to manage anxiety symptoms prior to the holidays. This includes building awareness into triggers and setting healthy emotional boundaries with family members. To set boundaries, be mindful of your limits and get comfortable with saying “no” when you recognize that you’re taking on too much. Be aware of what’s driving you to yes, is it guilt or obligation? This will allow some space to uncover what’s motivating you to take on too much.

Additionally, be mindful of your expectations. Are other people influencing your perception of what a “perfect holiday season” looks like? Sometimes social media, or even movies, can set unrealistic expectations about what the holidays should look like and if/when it doesn’t turn out that way, it brings up negative feelings. One may internalize those negative feelings that confirm irrational core beliefs that may already exist. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be a great therapeutic modality to help challenge negative core beliefs that are contributing to anxiety and depression symptoms. 

Lastly, be careful not to invalidate your own feelings by falling into the “gratefulness trap.” If you’ve used the word, “should,” you’ll know what I mean here. It goes something like this, “I should be grateful that I have a family and have all of these great things, so I don’t know why I’m getting so upset.” This implies that someone who is struggling with their feelings is simply not allowed to express them or feel them because if they do, they are not being grateful or happy for what they have. As cliche as it may sound, “Feel your feelings!” It’s okay to feel a range of feelings during the holidays. Give yourself the time, space, and freedom to experience these emotions. Be aware of what is coming up for you emotionally, learn the coping strategies to manage stressors, and put together a cope- ahead plan for the holidays. Good luck and Happy Holidays!