Getting Your Last Licks of Summer

Maybe you don’t want to think about it (or maybe you do), but your kids will be walking up the stairs of their school building again

before you know it. The days of spon- taneous getaways and melting popsicles are dwindling, and people will soon be skimming leaves off their pools before closing them for the year.

It’s a time for families to look forward to everything that new teachers and classes will bring, but also, for kids, to endure a pang of sorrow that they’ll be back to the days of lessons and home- work. We parents are about to begin a balancing act, helping them enjoy these last sweet, carefree days, while also smoothing their transition back to their school year routines. Luckily, say the experts, there are some straightforward ways to do it.

Get that last bit of fun and sun

Say what you want about the rain, heat waves and spotted lantern flies, it’s been a great season, one like no other. “There are so many stressors during the year. Summer provides a nice opportu- nity for kids to just lessen their mental load,” said Adam Weissman, founding president, CEO, and chief psycholo- gist of The Child & Family Institute and Weissman’s Children’s Foundation. “Children can go to camp or they can see their friends more without the bur- den of schoolwork and tests. It’s a much- needed break for their mental health.”

It’s also often a break for parents. “Sometimes their workload is a little bit lighter in the summer, or they have summer Fridays, so it’s a great time for family bonding, travel, and adventure,” Weissman said.

The downside of having enjoyed such special summer moments is that they’ll be keenly missed. Towards the end, in fact, FOMO (fear of missing out) can strike. “I think this is probably true for both kids and adults alike,” said Jennie J. Kramer, founder and executive director of Metro Behavioral Health Associates. “It can be difficult to just be in the moment and enjoy activities, people, scen- ery, and adventures without wondering if it’s enough or if it was the ‘perfect’ summer, as if there is such a thing.”

To minimize that worry, remember there’s still time for a couple of last hoorahs. Put a finish on the season by checking off that last summer activity or activities your family wants to do, and try making them a tradition going forward. “For my family, it’s an annual beach vacation towards the end of Au- gust,” Weissman said. “We look forward to it every year and it creates a routine that reduces back to school anxiety be- cause it’s a consistent [end to summer].”

Aside from that, ask your kids what they really have their heart set on doing. Did they hope to go peach-picking be- fore the trees are bare, and then try bake a pie? If they went to sleepaway camp and their new BFFs live far away, would they love inviting them for a weekend visit? Don’t overlook that they might want to spend time with much-loved relatives.

“Your kids may adore their grand- parents or have a special aunt that isn’t close by and would enjoy the chance to spend a few days with them,” Weissman said.

Lastly, take a look at Westchester’s many parks and nature preserves as well, which are very accessible to explore in warm weather. You may need to show your kids their websites to see if they have cool trails or bodies of water they might like to see, or any special activities or festivals. It might just pique their interest. Just be careful not to try to cram too much in. “That can actually be somewhat overwhelming for some kids,” cautioned Kramer. “There are things that some parents must pay attention to, such as their child’s temperament and their response to the pace [of the family’s schedule].”

Ease back into fall

Because summer is so unique, its finale can not only inspire wistfulness, but also some grieving and apprehension of what’s to come. “There’s a period of adjustment [for kids as they return to school], until they sort of get back in the flow,” Weissman said. “There’s a lot of anticipatory anxiety, like ‘Who my teacher’s going to be? Will [classes] be harder this year academically?’ It goes in waves and transitions are really tough. They’re tougher for kids who are have anxiety.”

One key to calming children’s nerves is to arrange a reunion with their camp BFFs for down the road. “I grew up in the camping industry — my parents ran a teen tour company,” Weissman said. “We always had a reunion in November. It was such an important thing for the kids to be able to look forward to. By hav- ing something in the calendar for a later date, it sets a precedent for your child thinking this isn’t the end.”

Afterwards, put a pin in it and switch the focus to school’s imminent return. Try to start dialing back bedtimes over the next few weeks until the kids are on a good schedule. They’ll be better pre- pared for more structured and demand- ing days. Also try to preserve some of the good habits they may have acquired over the last couple of months.

“I don’t think this conversation would be complete without addressing screen time,” Kramer said. “In many settings during the summer, screentime is much, much less for a variety of reasons. It’s important to use this is a model when kids slowly return to school. Usage guidelines appropriate for each age category are important, and so is that we as parents also heed this advice. What better way to keep the deeper connections that may have been made in your family over the summer than to have device-free din- ners together at least three or four times a week?”

Just as you celebrated start of summer, celebrate the start of fall. Invite some of your kid’s best pals to come over and play, or depending on their age, do something more grown-up such as make s’mores. “If some of your friends will be in the same classroom, get them excited about that,” Weissman said. “You can also talk about some new things they might be able to do this year, like play sports at a higher level or start learning a new instrument or be in a brand new school play.”

A little retail therapy is never a bad thing, either. “If it’s within your means, you can say, ‘Oh, let’s go get you some new clothes or a cool backpack,’” Weiss- man said. “It’s giving kids some agency and picking their clothes is sort of curating their identity.”

Hopefully it will be the one you want: a child who’s happy that school has begun again.